British Teeth

from by Dan Bull

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lyrics

I was a jolly good child
but never had a Hollywood smile
I probably should be bothered but I'm not
'cause my gob is just part of my ebullient style
Charmingly funny and vile
like Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Kyle
Met a woman, it was good for a while
then I grinned and had her running a mile
Ugh... look at all that spit
I've got a mouth like a Sarlacc Pit
I look a bit like I was kicked to the kerb
and my teeth took it worse than the Tarmac I bit
I'm a little bit Ricky Gervais
if he was hit with a brick in the face
Dirty cunt
Perverted version of Kirsten Dunst
but worse in person 'cause of a certain oniony pungence
Line up girls, who's first in front?
Got a tongue like a Persian rug
Fuck mouthwash, pass the detergent *glug*
This is urgent look, get a surgeon booked
who can work with the curtains shut
Too squeamish to floss, bleeding is gross
so please just leave me to rot
'cause believe it or not
I really am reasonably pleased with the teeth that I've got
Don't give a fuck whether you're a fan of mine
Stop... Arm & Hammer time

You're jelly of my British teeth
I'm a vicious beast
If you do not like my music
then it's obvious that you are just too jelly of my British teeth
I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast
I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast with British teeth

Got them whitened, I might get them straightened
but I kind of like to frighten the states with them
And would Amy Winehouse
have sounded the same without the wide mouth?
And the same applies to Shane MacGowan
John Lydon, Clint Howard
Think "Lemmy meets Steve Buscemi"
I can already see your semi
see you're jelly of my British teeth aplenty
see your envy
I'm the MVP of dentistry on the NHS
My teeth are sexy
I bring the Aquafreshest raps
grinning like a Cheshire Cat
Fuck your feckless standards of beauty
you can shut your precious mouth
My dentist was the gentlest
she never did a thing that was senseless
She sensibly selected medical consensus over aesthetic pretenses
Regarding hygiene my teeth are quite clean
but far from the whitest I've seen
They used to be white, now they're yellowing
maturing like Cheddar and mellowing
developing into better things
they're getting ever more menacing
Snapping like a terrapin
When I'm dead, I'll be outlived by my skeleton

You're just jelly of my British teeth
I'm a vicious beast
If you do not like my music
then it's obvious that you are just too jelly of my British teeth
I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast
I'm a vicious beast, I'm a vicious beast with British teeth

credits

from Hip Hop Hooray, released January 13, 2017

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about

Dan Bull Bromsgrove, UK

Dan Bull is a man who says words in pleasing patterns. You can listen to them here, and on YouTube. This sentence is about guns, in order to make this biography more interesting.

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